Wondering about...friendship as the basis for Mutual Ministry

It is common for Ministry Developers to acknowledge that the restructuring of congregations into a Mutual Ministry church, with more shared responsibility, must be based on relationships. I myself have made much use of this concept in drawing distinctions between hierarchical power (Power Over) and relational power (Power With) from the community organizing model. And many theologians point to the partnership commitment inherent in the Baptismal Covenant and the Trinity as models of this relational component. Yet we rarely, if ever, talk about the relationships which we base Mutual Ministry on as friendship.
It seems to me, however, that “friendship” is the particular relationship that the church (as it should be!) is based on. In John’s gospel, Jesus tells his disciples: “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have from the Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15) To be Jesus’ friend, and so by extension God’s friend and friends with each other, holds the promise of trust and intimacy which is so necessary for the restructuring of the communal lives of our congregations if they are indeed going to be capable of sharing ministry. Why then do we shy away from talking about the relationships we are building as friendships…and why don’t we emphasize the friendship component between Ministry Developer and church members, Bishop and staff people, and all the various hierarchical levels which can be redeemed only by friendship?
Perhaps it’s because, in the context of the Last Supper, friendship is much more than the comforting intimacy which we have come to expect in hymns such as “What a Friend I Have in Jesus”. For those of us who know the end of the story, this invitation to friendship took the disciples through the darkest nights of their souls…through the experience of fear and betraying and onto martyrdom. Their journey into the unconditional love of God, into the very heart of Christ, was not easy. And if Jesus is our model of friend, we must look at him on the bank of the Sea of Tiberius cooking breakfast for those who have denied and betrayed him, and even now have trouble recognizing him. Yet Christ’s friendship does not waiver. He reaches out to them, still inviting them to, “Follow me”.
Perhaps the question for the Church community is: Can we be such friends? The question is twofold: First can we be the kind of friend who, faced with our own weaknesses and imperfections, is willing to swallow our delusion and pride and try again to follow where Christ is leading, (to trust ourselves)? And, can we be the kind of friend who, after disappointment and desertion, can return with unconditional love to befriend a weak and imperfect being, (to commit to trusting others)? The ability to hold each other accountable for sharing ministry in congregations and in dioceses depends on the answers to these questions. I wonder if we are ready to ask them…..